Choosing Space
I’m playing with the concept of spaciousness these days. Space to create, space to think, space to live, space to be. I’m practicing space in my communication; can I trust in the potency of a well-chosen sentence? Space in my relationships; is it necessary for me to take the lead on everything? Space in my mothering; do I always have to be “on”?; Space in my business; taking aligned action versus pandering to the “shoulds”. Space in my body; where can I dissolve constriction with my breath, or, what protocol/food/practice makes me feel less constricted? Space in my home; what needs to be removed, donated, simplified? Space in my processes; where can I bring in more ease of doing?
Space, lots of space.
In our fast-paced, overly-scheduled, results-obsessed society, honouring space often requires a significant mind and nervous system re-calibration. It can be easy to equate the concept of honouring space with: laziness, wasting time or being unproductive. How many things are we able to fit into a day seems to be the norm in conversations. Lack mentality has many tuned in to the concept of not enough time. When asked, “how are you?”, it’s very common for people to answer, “busy”. Busy-ness is often equated with importance; Multi-tasking is seen as making “good” use of our time; Jam-packed schedules are rhymed off as a badge of honour. But many, find themselves out of breath, running on empty, trying to be everywhere and everything; feeling as if they barely have a handle on it all. This, too, is part of the conversation; we can all sympathize and understand the difficulty of juggling it all and in this understanding, we further entangle ourselves with the belief that this is the only way to live a full life.
Deliberately choosing to create space, then, is counter-culture and so, provides the opportunity, the time, to examine why it is that we choose to buy into lack of time, and where it is that we learned to equate productivity with personal value and self-worth.
The truth is, our energy bodies and souls don’t respond well to this kind of pacing. With anxiety, as a mental health condition, on the rise; stress being a significant contributor to physical health issues and highly-strung nervous systems being the norm, it is obvious that this kind of living is not actually what is in resonance with true well-being. We all fundamentally understand this at some level, yet, we have a difficult time extricating ourselves from the hamster wheel. We believe it’s the only way, and it is this belief that keeps us stuck in a loop. It clutters our mind and vision and doesn’t allow us to see beyond what we know.
The concept of creating space is a design principle that artists and designers use when they either want to highlight an object or focus the eye on the space that surrounds the object. It is in deliberately choosing and creating space that the beauty of the fine piece of art or furniture can truly be show-cased; or, it is in honouring the space within a room that the bones of the structure can come to life. The eye, like the mind, appreciates space. Our life also responds to space; it’s when we have a moment to take a breath that we can stop to take inventory of what we want to keep doing or not.
Many of us experienced this three years ago with the world shutting down. Ironically, as we were in lock-down, we had space imposed upon us and it served to re-calibrate many aspects of living; the work-force included. Pre-pandemic, working from home was a luxury afforded to free-lancers and entrepreneurs. Today, working from home is a norm in many workplaces. The pause, helped us see what we couldn’t see before: that there was another way to do something; room for variation.
It turns out, that if you begin to create the space to be present to the life in front of you, you will naturally be guided to what exactly is calling for more space. In other words, what is asking for a loosening of your grip, a releasing of control; more trust? Where would lean back energy serve you? Perhaps, it’s in a relationship with a partner; a sticking point or obstacle that you’ve tried to tackle in doing, control energy. What would happen if you let it be for a moment and gave it space to breathe? In your parenting, what would benefit from extra space and less gripping tightly? In your career or schooling; once you’ve taken the necessary actions, can you give your mind the energetic space to let something just be; to not be tied to it day and night through mental gymnastics? In your soul mission; can you trust in the potency of aligned action and allow the Universe to get to work? What is your relationship to trust: in yourself and others? How does this impact the amount of spaciousness you grant yourself and others?
The ego likes to think it has the ability to control an outcome, to manipulate circumstances in our favour. It feels good when we give it the self-importance of nothing happens unless I am directly involved in every step. It keeps us in doing energy because somewhere, we have learned that when we do, we are perceived as valuable and important by others. Many of us learned, through observing the adults around us, that MORE doing is the only way to build a life one can be proud of. This doing did, in fact, yield results; but at what cost? How much life force energy was exchanged for the things that were acquired and, was it worth it?
I would contend that it’s in the BEING that we can truly connect to the WHY of this life; our life. There is something truly powerful about fully dropping into what is in front of of us in the NOW. When we create space, we are gifted understandings and realizations that require us to take a hard look at how we have been contributing to the people, situations and circumstances that create tension in our minds, hearts and bodies. We are invited into a new way. We may be forced to re-examine a career choice, a life choice, a belief system that has been running on auto-pilot in the background. We encounter the opportunity to quiet the noise, so we can bravely ask questions about the actions we are choosing. We are called into greater trust: of the Universe, the people around us and their capabilities; We experience the discomfort of dismantling our self-importance, our dominant tendencies and our need to control. These are not comfortable concepts to examine. This is why, so many of us choose to numb out by more DOING. However, it is in examining them that we are given a glimpse of another path; another way.
Playing with space creates an opportunity to examine that which we truly value and then gives us the time to consider how it is we want to interact with it in a way that is in alignment with the life we envision for ourselves. It almost always calls for change and brutal honesty. It often involves an ego-death and invites us into greater self-awareness, intentionality and authenticity.
As we open to spaciousness, our lives become more beautiful, more resonant. Certainly, there is doing, but the doing is purposeful, conscious, intentional.
That which truly matters takes centre-stage and we begin to find the courage to walk into a new way of living and being in this world. We make choices that are in alignment with our soul’s knowing, we stop looking around for external validation from others, we begin to trust in the intuitive nudges and our subsequent actions, we find the courage to disentangle ourselves from systems, people and situations that are not in alignment with what we value. In short, we begin creating instead of responding.
Until, one day, we look around and realize we’ve stepped into a new life: an expansive, abundant, beauty-FULL life that honours our ebbs and flows, allows us flexibility and time to do what we love; how we love to do it. A life that is aligned with our values and what we deem important. A life that is a true reflection of who we are. A life filled with ease of being and ease of doing; one that presents us with experiences and opportunities that make us feel more alive, aware, present; and we’ve done so intentionally, consciously, through our own deliberate choosing.
